Well shit. It's been a minute...but as depression and anxiety creep up on me, I feel like I should use my writing skills more and attempt to verbalize my angst. Today is supposed to be a day spent with family and all that shit. I did, but I hated about 85% of it. I'm thankful for alot, yet hate so much. I am so angry. I know I'll be happy one day, but when? When will it be my turn? I know, I know....it seems like I complain A LOT, but I'm not. This is the shit that really goes through my head daily. Why can't I just be happy? Ugh. Its so frustrating. I'm dreading going back to work tomorrow. I dread the dry office talk, "how was your weekend? " fuck it...I don't really care what you did on the weekend, and you couldn't really care what I did either. Sometimes I absolutely feel like a total outcast at work. Like the blacksheep. It's worst than highschool. Just a big popularity contest. And I've already lost. Although I've never tried to win. One day, everything will fall into place. It just seems like right now all I do is struggle. Struggle with my own thoughts. Either way, its Thanksgiving, so I have to appreciate all that's around me. Especially my kids. Everything else is just that...Everything else.
